hop out of bed in the predawn hours. make sure you have had a good hearty breakfast (possibly a nice hot porridge and some fruit or toast and jam). wearing nice warm clothing is always a good idea. then drop by the home of a groundhog, woodchuck or hedgehog before the slightest ray of sun begins to peek over the horizon.

all the respectable woodchucks, hedgehogs and groundhogs i know are not available to make a guest appearance here today. they are hibernating for the winter, so, i am using one of my delicious groundhog's day cookies to represent the groundhog's burrow and the attractive groundhog decoration on top to represent the little weather prognosticator. my trusty yellow flashlight will be representing the sun, an my kitchen counter will be representing the groundhog's natural habitat.

just as the sun comes up, listen carefully. amid the waking bird songs you will hear the faint echo sound of the groundhog's alarm clock going off. after he has brushed his teeth, combed his hair and taken his morning vitamins (but, before he has had his breakfast), the groundhog (woodchuck or hedgehog) will groggily lumber from his burrow. he will move rather slowly and possibly grumble a bit. most groundhogs are not morning people, so, for your own good, do not try to engage him in conversation.

if our faithful weather man finds the sky overcast and somber, he'll decides that it is not such a bad morning to stop hibernating. he'll turn on npr or the bbc to catch up on the news while checking his e-mail before he takes a leisurely walk to his favorite cafe. while enjoying a delicious light breakfast of tea, toast, fresh fruit salad with creme fraiche he relaxes with a copy of the new york times. he'll pick out a couple gallery openings or shows he wants to catch now that he's done hibernating and make a list of friends to reconnect with. this surely means that spring is on the way and his social calendar will be quickly filling up.

if he emerges from his warm little habitat to a blindingly bright day to see his shadow, he will immediately shield his eyes with the darkest sun glasses and find the nearest diner. he'll chow down on eggs, sausage, grits, bacon, biscuits,hash browns, toast and jam and/or maybe a cinnamon bun, decaf coffee and orange juice while skimming a copy of usa today. after a brisk walk home, he slides into a breakfast induced lethargy that culminates in staggering to the bedroom and flopping on the bed for just a quick nap only to wake up a month and a half later fully clothed and confused about where he was the night before. this indicates 6 more weeks of winter.