how many times has this happened to you? you're out doing a bit of spelunking in your favorite cave and you see a particularly interesting pointy structure hanging from the ceiling you'd like to point out to your companion. then it happens! and suddenly, you can't remember if a stalactite hangs from the ceiling or sits on the floor. your palms get sweaty, your mind races as you search your brain. nothing! instead you point out a less interesting but none the less delightful column formed when a stalagmite and stalactite join. your friend is grateful for your thoughtful observation and impressed with your knowledge. but, deep inside, you're embarrassed that you forgot the basics from your freshman year of "comparative studies of calcium formations in literature through the ages." luckily, i'm a frequent visitor to the natural history museum in chicago and the leading terrycloth expert in stalactites and stalagmites, so, i can help you refresh your memory about my little calcite pals. like socks and oxygen atoms, stalactites and stalagmites, tend to hang around in pairs. basically, they're the jeeves and wooster of geological formations - always associated with each other, but easy to tell apart. both stalagmites and stalactites are formed by water dribbling through mineral rich rock, picking up a bit of calcium carbonate and depositing it along the way as it drops from ceiling to floor. the solidified calcium icicle dangling from the ceiling is your classic stalactite. the sturdy stalagmite rises majestically from the floor. now that you know which is which, how do you remember who is who? stalactites hang on tight to the ceiling. while stalagmites grow like a mighty tree from the ground. stephen fry played the down to earth and reliable manservant, jeeves with the strength of a stalagmite. hugh laurie brought wooster to life so convincingly what it would not surprise me to see him dangling from a chandelier at the drone's club in a stalactitish way. so let's recap with visual aids, shall we? since the pilobolus dance company could not join me today in an interpretive dance illustrating these unique natural wonders, you'll have to refer to these photos.
these international celebrities make guest appearances everywhere from carlsbad cavern in new mexico, jenolan Caves in new south wales to the basement of the lincoln memorial in washington dc. for all i know, there might be a stalactite or two hanging out in the sewers of paris or the london underground! ---------------- stalactite literary note: anne lamotte confesses in her book "plan b: further thoughts on faith" that she does not like stalactites. although she gives no reasons for her feelings. late breaking stalactite/stalagmite news: the emminent stalactite/stalagmite expert write me. take a look! |
